Stabilize
by KinkyPop
Summary: Pain and loss affects us all, but how we stabilize is what defines us. For Bella, the catalyst is the loss of Edward. Paul has had a rough life, from the death of his mother, to his alcoholic father. Two struggling souls bound through the red ties of fate, but will they fight the pull of destiny or grow together and accept the potential future they could share. Paul/Bella Imprint.
1. New Moon

_**Stabilize.**_

 _ **Stabilize:**_ become unlikely to give way or overturn, or become unlikely to change, fail, or decline further.

 _Pain and loss affects us all, but how we stabilize is what defines us. For Bella, the catalyst is the loss of Edward and to pick up the pieces of her shattered future she'll need to learn to love again._

 _Paul has had a rough life. From the death of his mother, to the abuse dealt by his alcoholic father. To top it all off all his aspirations of getting the hell away from the Rez, and all the bad memories tied to it, are now impossible._

 _He never asked to be a werewolf, and he didn't want to be some 'Protector' against vampires, when he could not even protect his mother or himself from his father who was human._

 _Two struggling souls bound through the red ties of fate, but will they fight the pull of destiny or grow together and accept the potential future they could share. Paul/Bella Imprint._

* * *

 **Prologue:** New moon.

" _You're far away, when I want you around_

 _And you leave me lonely when I'm feeling down_

 _Do your ever wonder or worry about me?_

 _Did I ever love you, did you ever love me?"_

 _Fleetwood Mac._

 _In retrospect, Bella should have known something was wrong from the moment she received Edward's call. His voice had been too level, too natural and calm. But her elation at the thought he might want to spend even a few mere extra moments with her blanketed all other thoughts and concerns. Bella's naivety was to be her downfall, but her feeble human stamina, she thought, was the reason he'd slipped away._

 _Curled up, lost, broken and soaked to the core, Victoria found Bella, alone and defenseless._

* * *

Chief Swan was a mess. It had been well over thirty-six hours and still no sign of his daughter. Worse however, was the blood smears and scraps of cloth that had been found strewn through the forest the Pack had been obliged to report back to the police and search party.

Apparently Bella had been missing for twelve hours before anything could be done, and fourteen hours before the Pack was been contacted by Harry and Billy. And the only reason the Pack had been called in to help in the first place, was Billy's fear that it had something to do with the disappearance of the Cullen's. Forks resident Leech family.

Though the Pack had been scouring the forest in shifts ever since they'd been brought in to help they could not seem to locate the girl. They'd found her blood smeared jacket, and tuffs of long brown hair, the girls, but not her.

The rain, blood and the stink of various vampires was throwing off their keen senses and making it impossible to get a clear ping on where the girl was.

Paul was with Harry, watching a grief-stricken Charlie run himself ragged when a howl sounded off in the distance.

Sam was on current 'hunt' duty, and that howl could only mean one thing. Bella had been found. Whether she was alive was a different matter entirely.

Of course, Poor Charlie had freaked out the second he heard the howl. Face pale as he stared off out into the tree-line.

"What… What if she was hurt and…"

"We'll find her Charlie."

Paul could heard Billy trying to console his friend though he looked a little shaken himself.

Not moments later, Bella emerged from the forest like a ghostly figure, swirls of mist lapping at her bare feet and ankles. Her long hair was a knotted, blood-mattered mess of twigs and leaves. Her jeans shredded and her thin camisole hanging off her in crimson soaked ribbons. She looked like she'd lost a wrestling match with a wood-chipper.

 _What the fuck had happened to her?_

She was deathly pale under layers of grime and grit. The surrounding onlookers stared in stunned horror as she tottered and wobbled towards them unsteadily, tripping and stumbling as if she were a zombie and not a eighteen-year-old girl in her prime. Her eyes were vacant, her body smeared with blood and mud and she had deep, dark red gashes and cuts from head to toe.

But… she was not with Sam.

Sam who had sounded off the 'alarm' that she'd been found.

 _Where the hell was their alpha?_

The chaos that immediately erupted was thunderous. Charlie bursting into a sprint towards his daughter with doctors close on his heel. Cameras flashed in fit inducing bursts and voices rang out over each other in a wave of noise.

Harry turned to look towards the woods, eyes narrowed and Paul followed his line of sight.

There, in the tree-line, was Sam, lurking within the shadows as he watched Bella carefully. Lips peeled back over his teeth.

 _What the fuck?_

With a disgruntled 'whuff,' Sam caught Paul's eye and inclined his head, a clear order to join the other.

After a quick look around to make sure no one was watching, Paul slunk off towards the trees. He shucked his clothes once sure he couldn't be spotted and, as easy as breathing a sigh of relief, slipped his human form.

The second his paws hit the ground he took off, following the scent trail left by his alpha. His thoughts a confused jumble as Sam's own turbulent mind bled into his own.

' _Sam, what's going on?'_

' _Nothing. And for now there is nothing left for us to do here.'_ Sam voice was a dangerous growl that threatened Paul to push the matter further.

' _Sam, Harry and Billy are furious. The girl looked like she could barely stand, let alone walk, and you left her to find her own way back. What the hell were you thinking—'_

' _She's been bitten!'_ Sam spun on his paws and snarled at Paul, savage fangs snapping not inches from the other's face. Paul reared back, both in alarm and shock. Neither were directed at his alpha's outburst, however.

' _What! Why hasn't she turned? How recent is the bite? Why didn't you kill her?'_

' _Silence!'_ Sam roared, and Paul backed off, tucking his head with a huff. _'The bite is old… I think, but it's spreading. We've never seen the transformation from human to vampire, so we have little information about how long it takes. And we don't kill humans. You could see she was still human, for now at least. Instead… we'll watch her for a while. Wait until she turns, and then…'_

 _'Then we'll deal with her.'_ Paul finished his alpha's thought, knowing the other must have found the whole thing uncomfortable. While Paul didn't much care what happened to the idiot girl who'd chosen to tangle with Leech's, for Sam, the first to shift and feel the full brunt of what it meant to be a protector, it must have been hell to wait out and watch.

Paul turned to look over at the leech-lover, who now hung, limp and lifeless from her father's arms. Paul frowned, narrowed his eyes and took in a deep breath. No, not dead, yet, just conscious.

He crinkled his nose at the smell of her. Under all the blood, Bella's aroma was sweet, crisp and clean, however, lurking over the scent of freesia was the stink of death and decay. Barely there, but clear and unmistakable to his finely honed scenes.

' _Such a shame,'_ Sam thought, his eyes locked on the girl just as Paul's were.

' _This will break Charlie's heart. He only just got the kid back.'_

Paul turned to look at his alpha curiously before turning back to the chaos gathered out-front of Charlie's residence.

' _What do you mean only just got her back?'_ Paul asked curiously.

' _Harry and Billy often talk about Renee, Charlie's flighty ex-bitch wife and how she took off with their kid. Apparently Bella used to spend every holiday here with Charlie, then one day, as she got older, she refused. Charlie hadn't seen her in years before she moved here and had barely spoken to her on the phone. The kid seemed almost brainwashed by her mother. Hating Charlie because her mother did. As if it was his fault Renee pulled a runner, and not the other way around.'_ Sam actually looked a little disgusted by the notion as he spoke, and Paul felt sorry for Charlie, and even his idiot kid.

' _That's fucking rough.'_ Paul conceded softly, awkwardly. He didn't really do… family drama. His own upbringing had been far from sun-shine and roses.

Sam gave a nod of his massive head, silently understanding Paul's reluctance to speak on the matter.

' _I want you to watch her Paul. The second she turns, I want you to put her down.'_ His alpha's voice was firm and authoritative, as if he already knew Paul was going to argue.

And Paul really did think about it. About complaining that this was not fair and he had his own shit going on. Dark eyes slid back to Charlie's pale face and the frail form of his half-dead kid hanging from his arms, and knew he couldn't refuse.

' _Damnit Sam, Jared would be a better choice.'_ Paul grumbled, feeling uncomfortable and… unworthy _._

' _Jared is new to the change, Paul. No, I want you on this. I trust you.'_

 _I trust you._ That one sentence meant so much more to Paul than he'd ever openly admit, and Sam fucking knew it.

' _You're an arse-hole, Uley.'_ Paul groused with no real venom, slumping into a sitting position with a grumpy glare. Sam shot Paul a cheeky, wolfish smile. And then it fell, and it left the two in the heavy, awkward silence of what the future held for those that dwelled within the Swan household.

' _I need to report to the Elders.'_ Sam sighed dejectedly. Paul was immensely glad that duty did not fall to him. The Elders pissed him off too much to stay in control.

' _Don't kill anyone.'_ Paul joked, dragging a reluctant laugh out of his alpha.

' _Don't tempt me.'_ Sam replied in jest before vanishing into the same blackness he'd emerged from.

 _Goodluck… you'll need it,_ Paul thought silently after he'd shifted back into the confines of his human form, before turning to return to the chaos.

 _Today had really fucking sucked._

* * *

A/N: So the prologue is bit slow and short I admit, but it will pick up pretty quickly. The next chapter will be split between Paul's Pov and Bella's Pov, so I will see you there!

Peace out, _Kinky._


	2. Unstable

_**Stabilize.**_

* * *

 _ **Chapter**_ _ **One:**_ _Unstable_.

" _Do, do you know my name_

 _Do, do you know what I've shamed_

 _Do, do you think I'm lost_

 _Do, do you think I pray_

 _Everything bleeds."_

 _\- Gary Numan._

The Swan kid ended up being in the hospital for three and a half weeks. And while her injuries had been pretty extensive, requiring stitches and many blood transfusions, it was actually her mental health that kept her in for so long.

The doctors worried about the catatonic state she had fallen into and the bouts of hysteria that overtook her of a nightlight. Clawing at her arms, well one in particular, and face. Often howling herself awake only to be sedated not long after.

Needless to say, Charlie was not in good shape. Spending all day at work, only to knock off and spend the nights sleeping lightly in the visitor's chair by his daughter's bed in the hospital. Her screams of agony would wake him in a state of crazed panic, helplessly watching as nurses and doctors filed into the room, needles in hand.

It eventually got to the point where they had to restrain her after eight PM and hook up feeding tubes since she was still flatly refusing food.

Paul knew this because after having scoped out the Swan's house, and yes, it had meant breaking in of a night while Charlie was visiting Bella, he'd ended up lurking around Forks General, worried she'd turn while under their care, and tear the doctors and nurses limb from limb.

Which, for obvious reasons, was not what the Pack, or the Elders, wanted.

Obviously, Paul reported all activity to Sam, who in turn relayed it to the Elders, but thus far, the girl remained human. If not a bit deranged.

However, Paul suspected the girl must have always been a… 'special snowflake' to have knowingly hung around and even dated a life-sucking leech. Regardless, he kept his judgement to himself, and did as he was told. It was boring, tedious work. But now and then one nurse would spot him loitering in the parking lot and ask him if he wanted a 'coffee,' which always led to a quickie in an empty examination room.

That part wasn't so bad. The nurse in question, while older than him by at least ten years, was a total fox and willing to try almost anything.

During the end of the third week, leading into the fourth however, Doctor Gerandy had politely approached Charlie and suggested that rather than keeping Bella in general population, he admit her into their psychiatric ward. The doctors wisened face, aged with smile lines and happy eye-creases, drawn up in a concerned frown, hand shakily carding through greying hair.

" _She's unstable, Charlie, she needs professional help. This isn't normal. It's too much for you to handle alone. Let us take care of her."_

Understandably appalled, and if not a bit angry, Charlie had refused and checked Bella out by that afternoon. Paul had run ahead, getting to the Swan residence a whole five minutes ahead of Charlie and had flicked himself up into the tree and slunk into the Bella's room. After a quick, customary search over for leeches, he slid himself into the girl's tiny wardrobe and readied himself for a long night.

Bella followed her father like a zombie, tottering into the room and laying in the bed under his direction without a word. She was asleep by the time he'd finished tucking her in. Rather than immediately leaving the room, Charlie sat down on the edge of his daughter's bed, head in his hands, and wept. His shoulders shook and Paul could smell the tears on him, yet the man never made a sound.

Paul shuffled uncomfortably in his hiding position at the tender display, images of his mother doing much the same springing to mind. Quickly followed by the face of his father, dark eyes blazing dangerously as he cracked a belt along Paul's head and uplifted arms.

The images faded when Charlie sniffled softly and stood from the bed. Paul watched him bend to tuck a tuff of wild brown hair behind Bella's ear before kissing her forehead. Not long after he exited the room quietly, closing the door behind him with a barely audible 'click.'

Paul waits until he can hear the Charlie's footsteps disappear down the stairs and the TV switch on before emerges from the dark of the closet. It's a good thing Sam and Jared weren't there to see it, the jokes would never have stopped. Careful of his every step, Paul slinks over to the bed, feeling ridiculous and like some sort of creepy stalker.

The thin stream of blue-hued moonlight that spilled in through the open window makes the Swan kid look ashy and grey. With her slightly gaunt cheeks and the dark circles under her eyes, she almost looks skeletal. Even though he can see the pulse in her neck and hear the erratic _'thump-thump'_ of her heart, Paul still touches two fingers to her throat.

She is cool to the touch, but not inhumanly so. Reluctantly, he leans down and inhales the scent of her, rearing back in disgust not seconds later. To the untrained nose, the girl smells sweet, and like strawberries. But Paul can detect what lurks beneith that. The undeniable stink of vampire. Only… it doesn't seem to come from her. It's isolated to one point. Frowning, Paul follows the unpleasant smell to a silver crescent scar on her arm. It's completely healed and when he touches it, it's hard like stone and as cold like ice.

She whimpers in her sleep as he brushes a thump over it, and for a second there is a crackle of energy between the small areas of their connected flesh.

Horrified, Paul yanked his hand back and shivers in disgust, feeling the wolf in him begin to stir as he trembled with barely contained rage.

The bite had to be a year old, maybe slightly less, but still, old. How fucking long did it take someone to turn? He could see it trying to spread. Invisible to the human eye tendrils of silvery venom spider-webbing out from the mark. But… it was so faint, so slow, it was like something had stopped the change. Or tried to at least.

Paul was still studying the mark when he felt the weight of eyes on him.

Flicking his gaze away from the sickening sight of the vampire bite, he looked up and was instantly pinned by sad, doe-brown eyes, peering at him curiously in the dark. Within the molten chocolate of those irises, hid the secret truth. Tiny, almost invisible flecks of topaz surfacing around the pupil. The colour of the leech family's eyes. So called 'vegan' vampires.

Her eyes were beautifully unnerving in their abnormality. And they pulled him in and drowned him in their pain.

The breath Paul had been holding left him in a great gust of panic. He'd been spotted.

 _Ah, shit_.

"Who…?"

But Paul was already gone, throwing himself out of the open window and scrambling down the tree in the blink of an eye. He'd disappeared into the cover of the forest by the time he heard her pull up weakly from the bed and move to look out the window. Panting and shaking, Paul peered out of the shadows and watched her search for him.

 _How could one person look so… empty?_ He thought and then frowned. _Why the fuck did he care? He was here to do a job, not coddle her, damn it._

The Swan kid leant out the window, face expressionless, and peered into the darkness. But Paul knew she couldn't see him.

She was no more vampire than he was. The change hadn't stopped, per say, but it didn't seem to spread particularly quickly either. Whoever had bitten her was either a genius, or a fucking retard.

But it meant there may be a chance to save her. Maybe. He'd have to talk to Sam, and… ugh, by default, the Elders.

With a quick glance back at the abandoned window, Paul turned and sprinted off towards the Rez.

This was so above his fucking pay-grade.

 _Fuck._

And worse, he thought to himself with concern, he may have just imprinted. Only Sam would know for sure though, as the only Pack member to have imprinted thus far.

 _Double fuck_

* * *

 _Pain._

Pain like fire and acid.

Bella's eyes flicked open in the gloom of her barely illuminated room. For a second she merely lay there quiet, and unmoving, wondering what had woken her. And then she felt it. Like liquid lava and electricity. Burning hot agony radiating from the 'scar' on her arm. Frowning, she slid her eyes down to stare at the limb that had not ached like this since the… incident, with a sort of detached curiosity. And promptly froze when she spotted the massive, even while hunched, silhouette of someone bent over said arm.

For a second her heart thundered against her ribs. James? Was he back? Could he have survived… that night?

Or maybe it was Victoria.

Fear lanced through her and left Bella chilled to the bone.

' _Oh my, what's this? Edward's little human plaything, all alone and defenseless?' A flash of too white, too sharp teeth. 'How fun._ '

 _ **No!**_

No, she realised, and squinted at the person. The barely there moonlight would have lit up a vampire like polished marble encrusted with diamonds. Whoever this was, was no vampire. The touch was too warm and she could feel their breath against the flesh of her wrist.

As if sensing her scrutiny, the stranger tipped their head and a heavy gaze locked with hers. Bella felt her heart clench, tears prickling her eyes when, in the darkness of their eyes, she caught a perfect reflection of her heartache mirrored back to her.

"Who…" she tried to ask, but her voice was hoarse and came out weak and scratchy. Talking felt like razor-wire being pulled out of her throat. In the blink of an eye, the person was gone, and it left Bella startled and blinking, wondering if it had been her imagination. Or maybe a trick of the light?

 _Well… the doctors had wanted to commit me_ , she mused idly, pulling herself from the warm confines of her bed with a weak groan.

 _Holy crow, everything hurt_.

Even her hair hurt. She didn't know was even possible.

Careful of the mending flesh under her gauze-pads and bandages, Bella reluctantly lifted herself onto shaky legs and hobbled over to the window. The night air was crisp and bitterly cold when she stuck her head out of the window.

It was both affronting, and oddly refreshing.

Whoever, or more alarmingly whatever, it was that had been in her room was long gone. No sign, trace or track for her to follow. Swallowing down her fear, Bella took a deep breath and turned her attention to the thick tangle of pine that loomed in the distance.

Other than her own screams and Victoria's mocking laughter playing on a loop through her head, no sign of anyone, vampire or else wise could be spotted through the gaps in the darkness.

' _I don't need to kill you, Bella. Not yet, at least. But I'll see you soon, real soon. and we'll have some more fun 'girl time' then. Or maybe… maybe I'll visit that handsome father of yours. Would you like that? Made to watch as I ripped his still beating heart from his chest and feed it to you, fresh and bloody.'_

Victoria's promise echoed through her mind and Bella pulled back from the window gasping, hands flying to cover her ears in a vain attempt to block the sound out.

 _Don't hurt Charlie! Not him. Never him. He's innocent in all this._

Though she hadn't spoken the words, she'd wanted to.

Sobbing, Bella curled up on the floor and let the drugs pumping through her veins whisk her away into blissful oblivion.

 _ **End Chapter.**_

* * *

Hope you guys like it. Again, I know it's a little slow, but once I get all the preamble out of the way I can actually focus on the action and lay the groundwork to build up their relationship.

As you can probably tell, this will be a Paul/Bella imprint story, a slow build with... *coughs awkwardly* lots of hate-sex and fighting. Also, I am pretty sure Jared shifts before Paul, but I have swapped it so I hope you don't mind.

Let me know what you guys think so far, all feedback is welcome, and I'll see you in chapter three, where we see how the Elders and Sam reacts to Paul's news. This is un-beta'd so all errors are my own.

 _Peace out,_

 _Kinky ~3_


	3. Passing Time

_**Stabilize.**_

* * *

 **Chapter Two:** _Passing time._

" _When you feel so tired but you can't sleep_

 _Stuck in reverse_

 _When the tears come streaming down your face_

 _'Cause you lose something you can't replace_

 _When you love someone but it goes to waste_

 _What could it be worse?"_

 _Coldplay._

When Bella woke the next morning, it was to gentle rays of sunlight, which streamed in through her window, creating pictures over her skin in dappled patterns. She was tucked into bed, warm and safe, and was left to wonder… had it all been a nightmare? She'd been having a lot of those lately. From the glass of water and the bottle of pills sitting beside her bed, Bella could safely say it probably had been.

Charlie came trundling into her room around ten with a tray of toast and a glass of orange juice. Bella watched with tired eyes wanting to get angry but with no energy to do so.

"Mornin' Bells. Thought you might be hungry." He smiled wanly as he placed the tray on the bed on front of her, reaching for the prescriptions bottle while she eyed the toast and oj, unresponsive. For the life of her, Bella could not tell if she was hungry or not. She felt empty, but that was different to being hungry. For Charlie's sake, Bella took a small bite of the toast and washed it down with a small sip from the juice.

There was no flavour. No taste. No feeling of nourishment.

She repeated the process when Charlie placed two pills in her hand. They were tiny, egg shaped and mushy-pea green.

They melted the second they touched her tongue, but Bella didn't mind. She couldn't taste them. Though she could feel them sticking to her throat despite the mouthful of oj she swallowed them with.

As if on auto-pilot, Bella finished nibbling at half a piece of toast and used to the last of the juice to wash it down before pushing the plate away. Mollified at her attempt, Charlie gave another of his smiles and dropped a kiss on the top of her head.

"Get some rest kid, you don't look like you slept well. I have to get down to the station to do paperwork. I'll be back around four this afternoon. I asked for the day off, but there were some idiot hooligans burning a bonfire out on the cliffs and I have to fill out a few reports for it."

Bella dipped her head in a nod, voice vacant to her own ears when she replied mechanically.

"It's fine, dad. Sleeping longer sounds good. Be safe."

"Always am." He sighed back, taking her tray and plate without another word after tucking her in. Bella listened for the sound of the cruiser to signal his departure before kicking off the blankets. She turned to the cd player by her bed and switched it on. When nothing happened after she pressed play, a nasty feeling settled itself in the pit of her gut. Frowning, Bella pushed down on the top of the player and waited for the latch to unhook and for the top to open.

It was empty.

She could have sworn that the burnt disk of Ed… of His lullaby had been in there.

Heart hammering, she rolled, so that she hung off the side of the bed and reached under it to retrieve her photo album.

Right where Charlie said he had left it.

Bella pulled it onto her lap with shaking hands and twitching fingers opened it to the first page. She didn't have to look any further to affirm her suspicions.

The page was blank except for her own handwriting scrawled across the bottom _: Edward Cullen, Charlie's kitchen, Sept. 13th._

Bella stopped there, sure that he would have been very thorough.

 _It will be as if I'd never existed,_ he'd promised her.

Bella dropped the empty album and drew her knees to her chest, gasping, unable to breathe. With a sob she buried her face in her hands and willed the world to stop spinning and swirling.

Bella hoped that she was about to faint, but no, to her disappointment, she didn't lose consciousness. The waves of pain that had only lapped at her before now reared high up and washed over her head, pulling her under.

Only this time, there was no resurfacing.

October, and all that came with it, melted into November. Taking with its kids in costumes and left the road littered with half smashed pumpkins. Leaves turned orange, the cold turned colder as the snow rolled in and then it was Christmas.

There was gifts and food and Bella remembered none of it.

By the time January rolled around, Bella had realised that time was passing. Even if she didn't want it to. Even if it felt like it wasn't.

Even when each tick of the second-hand aches like the pulse of blood behind a bruise. It passes unevenly, in strange lurches and dragging lulls, but pass it does. Even for those stuck in the same place.

Charlie's fist came down on the table.

"That's it, Bella. I'm sending you home."

Bella paused mid-chomp, the spoon of cereal not inches from her lips and blinked at Charlie uncomprehendingly.

Had… Had they been having a conversation? Had she missed something important?

"I am home. Aren't I?" She mumbled, confused, dropping the spoon back into her bowel with a wet splash.

"I'm sending you to Renee, to Jacksonville," he clarified, looking torn and annoyed all at once.

As Bella sat there, frowning as she slowly grasped the meaning of his words and the implication that came with them, Charlie watched with exasperation and concern.

"What did I do?" Bella felt her face crumple. Or maybe it hadn't. It was hard to tell if she was smiling or frowning or crying half the time. Numb from abandonment, but also only half aware of what she was doing because the pills made her fuzzy and lose time.

It seemed a little unfair, however, for Charlie to be losing his cool when Bella had thought her behaviour had been above reproach for the past four months.

After that first three weeks, which neither of them mentioned because it made Charlie uncomfortable and Bella didn't remember it, she hadn't missed a day of school or work.

Her grades were perfect. She never broke curfew— she went nowhere from which to break curfew in the first place. And she only very rarely served leftovers.

Charlie was scowling.

"You didn't do anything. That's the problem. You never do anything."

 _Huh?_

Was he angry at her for being… well behaved? No, that didn't make any sense.

"Do you want me to get into trouble?" Bella wondered, her eyebrows pulling together in mystification. She made an effort to pay attention. It wasn't easy. She was so used to tuning everything out that her ears felt stopped up.

"Trouble would be better than this… this moping around all the time!"

That stung. Bella thought she had been careful to avoid all forms of moroseness, moping included.

"I didn't think I was moping around." She objected quietly.

"Wrong word," he grudgingly conceded. "Moping would be better—that would be doing something. You're just… lifeless, Bella. I think that's the word I want."

Ouch. The accusation struck home and she sighed and tried to put some sort of animation into her next response.

"I'm sorry, Dad."

Well… that hadn't worked.

Now that Bella knew how she seemed to Charlie, the apology sounded flat and monotone to herself.

So much for pulling the wool over his eyes, Bella thought idly.

All she had wanted was to keep Charlie from suffering. To keep him from seeing how little she cared about anything, how dead _Them_ leaving in conjecture with the chlorpromazine left her feeling. Or rather, unfeeling. The absence of feeling.

That was the whole point of all the effort she'd been putting into appearing 'normal.' It was a little depressing to know how badly an actor she was.

"I don't want you to apologize." Charlie sighed, slumping over the kitchen counter.

Bella tilted her head and said. "Then tell me what you do want me to do."

This seemed to be the exact _wrong_ thing to say from the way Charlie's features twisted into a mask of baffled vexation and alarm.

"Bella," he hesitated, scrutinizing her reaction to his next words. "Honey, you're not the first person to go through this kind of thing, you know. We've all had our hearts broken."

His tone wasn't bitter, just flat with acceptance and Bella knew he was talking about losing Renee and Bella when she was just a baby. It felt like the right time to embrace Charlie, to offer him some sort of… comfort. But Bella didn't think it appropriate seeing as they were in the of a one-way argument, so instead she said, "I know."

When he looked at her again, his eyes were glassy

"Listen, honey. I think that—that maybe you need some help."

 _Help? As in psychiatric?_

"Help?"

He paused, searching for the words again. "When your mother left," he began, frowning, "and took you

with her." He inhaled deeply. "Well, that was a terrible time for me."

It was the first time Charlie had ever spoken about Renee leaving, and Bella leaned forwards in her seat, curious to how her dad would address it.

"I'm sorry, dad," She mumbled softly. Charlie waved off her apology. It wasn't Bella he needed to hear it from.

"But I handled it," he pointed out. "Honey, you're not handling it. I waited, I hoped it would get better. Wanted it to be just the pills taking effect, and you getting used to them."

His gaze locked with Bella's, sad and disappointed and she looked down quickly. Not wanting to know she'd failed him. Again. "I think we both know it's not getting better."

"I'll get better, I try harder." Bella whispered, not knowing if it was the truth or what she thought Charlie wanted to hear.

It didn't matter because he ignored her pointedly. "Maybe, well, maybe if you talked to someone about it. A professional."

Really? A shrink? Weren't the pills enough?

"You want me to see a shrink?" Her voice was just as emotionless as her face as she said this and Charlie took her lack of anger as a good sign.

"Maybe it would help." He admitted no longer sure if he had done the right thing in not admitting her into the psych ward.

"But maybe it won't help one little bit." The words tumbled out of her before she'd even thought about them. While each day passed like the last, and Bella cared little for what was happening around her, this she did know. She did not want to talk to anyone, not Charlie, not her mom or a doctor about Him leaving, or what had happened out in the woods.

Besides, for therapy to work, she would have to be honest. About everything. Vampires. Her hear death experiences. All of it.

And she couldn't.

It was not her secret to share.

And even if she was inclined to be truthful, all that would come of it was a padded room locked from the outside and a lot more drugs than she was on now.

No school, no future, nothing but drug induced catatonia, which would render the whole thing superfluous if Charlie's goal was for her to get better, not worse.

At her lack of a response, Charlie sighed and switched gears, swapping to another line of attack.

"It's beyond me, Bella. Maybe your mother—"

 _Renee?!_

Having to deal with Bella like this? No. Renee had barely been able to look after Bella at her best.

"Dad," Bella's voice was flat. "I love mom, I do, but she can't… deal with things out of her comfort zone. She would be as lost as you are if not more so. I'd be back here within a week. Is that what you want?" It hurt to admit, but Bella was nothing if not practical. "However, if it will help, tonight I'll call Jessica and Angela and ask for a girl's night out. Would that… make you feel better?"

"That's not what I want," he argued, frustrated. "And I don't want you to feel like you have to go out and do thing. I don't think I can live through seeing you try harder. I've never seen anyone try so hard to seem okay. It hurts to watch."

It would have been easy to pretend that she was dense and not know what he was talking about but lying on top of everything else she'd done… or hadn't done, of late seemed like a bad idea so instead she looked down at the table and traced the woodgrain with her nails.

 _Huh, her nails had grown out in the last four months._

 _Focus Bella!_

"I don't understand, Dad. First you're mad because I'm not doing anything, and then you say you don't want me to go out."

"I want you to be happy—no, not even that much. I just want you not to be miserable. I think you'll have

a better chance if you get out of Forks."

 _Oh._

 _Charlie didn't want her either._

"Dad I… I want to stay with you. But I understand if… if you don't want me." For the first time in months, Bella felt something. She felt her heart break just a little more. A splinter of what remained turning to dust in her chest. Her voice wobbled, and tears welled in the corners of her eyes.

Charlie's expression immediately softened, and before Bella could blink, he'd stepped around the counter to wrap her in his arms. Bella didn't resist the hug. She didn't fight when the tears started to fall in earnest. This wasn't a teenage rebellion, after all.

Instead, she buried her face in his chest and clung to him as she cried. To her surprise, and horror, Charlie cried with her. Soundless tears dripping down his cheeks as he buried his face in her hair.

"You don't have to leave, kid. I'll always want you. I just… I just don't know how to help you, Honey. And it's killing me to see you like this." His voice was tight with emotion and Bella nodded, letting him pull into the lounge-room.

He sat in his comfortably recliner and pulled her into his lap, rocking her back and forth as she finally let go of the misery she'd been bottling up. The only time he left her was to call the school to inform them that she wouldn't be in because she wasn't feeling well.

For the rest of the day they remained curled up on the couch binge watching old western movies. Bella ended up asleep with her head drooped against Charlie's chest, he large warm hands gently rubbing circles over her back as he crushed her close to him.

It wasn't much, but it was a step in the right direction.

Unbeknownst to the two, Paul's glowing eyes narrowed as he watched them closely. He was never far away from Bella, his imprint, and his unknowing ward. There would come a day when she'd turn, and he would be there to put an end to her, he just hoped the imprint didn't kill him as well.

 **End Chapter.**

* * *

 **A/N** _ **:** So, there wasn't a lot of Paul or the Pack in this chapter, and I am sorry about that. _

_I always hated how Bella treated Charlie and how she reacted to him trying to help her. I wanted a decently lengthier chapter to explain what was going on in her head, so when she did break down, it had more of an impact._

 _Not to mention anyone that has ever been on antipsychotics or antidepressants will know firsthand how… detached you feel from yourself._

 _Anyway, I hoped you enjoyed it._

 _NOW; for comments on the last chapters, graciously left by orchidluv, regarding the 'bite'._

 _The bite is the scar left from when James bite her and Edward was forced to suck out the venom. However, I have a few plans for it, so stay tuned because it's going to be a bumpy ride._

 _Next Chapter: How will the Elders react to Paul's news on Bella and his potential imprint?_

 _Peace out,_

 ** _Kinky!_**


	4. Long nights, even longer nightmares

Stabilize.

Chapter Three: _Long nights, even longer nightmares._

 _Last night I heard the screaming_

 _Then a silence that chilled my soul_

 _I prayed that I was dreaming_

 _When I saw the ambulance in the road."_

 _Tracy Chapman._

That night, Paul downed about four and a half bottles of scotch. And then he moved on to whiskey.

It didn't help, but it slightly took the edge off, which is what Paul needed. It had been three fucking hours since he'd left the Council meeting, and he still hadn't stopped trembling with rage.

Even thinking back on how it went was nearly enough to have him bursting from his skin in a furious rage of gnashing teeth and claws.

" _We simply don't know enough about this outsider, Paul. We cannot extend our protection or aid to just anyone that gets tangled up with vampires."_

And while Paul might have agreed that anyone that slept with leeches deserved to get bit, her being his imprint, as confirmed by Uley, meant that if she died, wouldn't stand to reason that he would also?

Of course, they'd had an answer for that.

" _None of us are saying you are lying Paul, we are merely confused. It is fundamentally impossible for a werewolf to imprint on a vampire. The biology of the two are incompatible. Even if the vampire in question is… an anomaly."_

It was all well and good for them to say it was impossible, but it had fucking happened. And whether they wanted to believe it or, was besides the point. Besides, their logic didn't mean shit when the person in question wasn't a vampire. Well… wasn't a vampire _yet._ Something had put a hold on the venom from spreading. Something, that if investigated, could probably be beneficial to the Pack. But didn't the Council care?

No.

Of course not.

It wasn't them with their lives on the line. It wasn't them that had to track and kill any vampire that entered the area.

Paul threw back the last of his drink and slammed his cup down with enough force to shatter the thick glass. He watched with a scowl as his skin healed, pushing out a few shards of the foreign matter from the wound before it closed completely. The only evidence of his mishap was a few smears of red on his palm, which quickly dried on his skin, becoming itchy and flaky.

Fuck he hated this place.

He hated the Council.

He hated the leech family for making him… whatever the hell he was, and he hated that he was stuck.

Paul stood, took a swig from the bottle, and then threw it into the fireplace with a roar.

This was not the first time those old farts had refused to help him. Oh no. This was all basically a repeat to Paul.

They hadn't helped with his father, they hadn't done shit to help his mother, and they weren't fucking helping him now.

" _I'm sorry, kid, but our hands are tied. There's nothing we can do until you mom says something to us."_

Hell, they hadn't even wanted to help Sam when he accidentally maimed Emily.

 _They were useless!_

And everyone knew it. They just didn't say anything because of 'traditions.'

Just as Paul had watched, helpless to save his mother, he was once again going to have to watch the Swan kid with his thumb up his arse, unable to offer any sort of aid outside of death.

And wasn't that just the fucking kick in the dick he needed. Since when had he become the Council's executioner. He was both too old and not old enough for this bullshit.

And why the fuck hadn't Sam stepped up, as Alpha, and put the Council in their place?

Why hadn't he, for just fucking once, had Paul's back? Why didn't anyone have Paul's back?

Sighing, Paul lifted his shaking hands to card his fingers through his hair and starts to pace.

He was chewing at the bit to return to the Swan kid, but he was also afraid what would be waiting for him when he got there.

Would she look at him with those empty brown eyes of hers as he took her down, teeth around her delicate throat? Would she cry out for help, afraid and clinging to life, or simply accept death. Laying there like a broken doll with no strings.

The thought keeps Paul up long through the night, reaching bottle after bottle of whiskey, until his stock starts to run low and his eyes burn from fatigue.

"So much for sleeping tonight…" He murmurs as he spy's the first rays of dawn begin to peek across the skyline. With a begrudging grunt, Paul sprawls out on the three-seater sofa in the loungeroom and sips at the whiskey until the room spins. When his lids become lead weights he lets them shut, if only to make his eyes stop stinging, but then doesn't have the reopen them. His mind drifts, and soon, he is asleep, thought it is not restful

Sam finds him much later curled up on the couch, never in the bedroom, cradling an empty bottle and snoring lightly. Paul twitches as nightmares and memories fuse together to create a hellscape of horror in his mind's eye.

 _His mother stands before him, bloodied and screaming as his father steps up behind her with a broken bottle. Paul runs, just like he always does, legs pumping in vain, as he tries to reach her before…_

 _But this time, as he gets closer, his mother vanishes and, in her wake, stands the Swan kid. Her gore mattered hair and torn clothes the exact same as those they'd found her the night she was missing. Confused, Paul's mad dash turns into a half sprint._

" _Please… help me." Her whisper lingers on the wind and Paul feels his heart drop as he watched an exact copy of himself step out of the shadows from where his father had once stood. As his sneering doppelganger took position behind the small, slip of woman, Paul's eyes slipped from the girl to stare at himself in horror. Paul and his 'twin' lock eyes and he knows what's about to happen before it does._

' _No!' He tries to say, mouth won't working, and reaches out with a hand, but it's too late. The Swan girl shrieks out in terror as his smiling look-alike tears the girl apart. By the time Paul reaches her, she is nothing but a crimson mess of scattered meat and entrails. The only thing intact is her head, and it stares at him, lifeless yet accusing._

 _Her lips tremble, and Paul is unable to look away._

" _Why?" Her voice is so lifeless and monotone. Dead. Just like her._

Paul wakes to the sounds of his own harsh breathing. There is a blanket thrown over him, and signs that at one-point Sam had dropped by to check on him. Groaning, Paul pulls himself up from the couch and meanders towards his fridge.

The sun is setting, so he has obviously slept through the day. Plenty of time for Sam to have snuck in and out like the creepy bastard he is. Scoffing Paul pushes aside the food, obviously cooked by Emily, that has been loaded into his fridge and reaches for the milk.

He takes a sip to make sure it's still good before making a coffee. It's bitter because he has no sugar, and the milk is close to expiring, but he doesn't care. It's not an uncommon occurrence after all.

By the time he has eaten, showered, and back at the Swan's house, it's about six at night. Paul finds Charlie asleep in his recliner, an old western movie playing in the background, and his daughter asleep in his arms. Both smell of sorrow and exhaustion as he creeps closer and the tv casts shadows across their faces, but they seem content enough. Paul tips his snout skywards and takes in a breath.

Both human. Both alive. If not a bit cold.

 _Idiots._

After shifting back, Paul creeps into the house, careful not to make a noise, tiptoes around the couch and throws an old, crochet blanket over the two before switching off the movie. He leaves them like that, seeing no reason to intervein where he is not needed. It's not until he is back outside, lurking within the brush of the forest, that he catches a whiff of vampire. Fresh, and leading to and away from the house.

When he follows the retched aroma, he quickly discovers that, much like himself, the vampire is watching the Swan house. But he doesn't recognise the scent. It's not one of the Cullen's. And it smells like it's been coming pretty frequently.

Paul's nose curls in disgust when he stumbles on the spot that reeks the most. Clearly where the leech spends the most time. When he looks back at the house his blood runs cold when he realises, he is looking right up at the Swan girls window.

' _Oh for fucks sake,'_ he curses, kicking up a tuff of leaves with his back paw in annoyance, _'of course the leech is after_ _ **her**_ _. What was she, catnip for vampires?'_

Settling down on his hunches, Paul readies himself for a long night only to be startled by a mash of thoughts and feelings and flashing of colour and smells.

Jared has shifted. And boy does he suck at controlling his senses.

' _Wow, fuck this is weird._ ' Paul hears the other mutter as he crushes through the underbrush towards him. _'It only gets worse, not gonna lie.'_ He sends back and can't help but laugh when he hears a yelp as his new pack brother goes tail over paws in fright.

' _Fuck, Paul! Warn a guy before you go invading his brain, will ya?'_ Jared growls as he approaches, and there are leaves and twigs in his fur that is too long and slightly rumpled.

Paul roars with laughter, because the scene is so familiar to his own first few experiences shifting.

' _Sorry, bud. I forget how jarring it is to have other people in your head. I've had Sam in mine for two months, but it feels like forever.'_ He confesses as Jared pads over and plonks down awkwardly next to him. Jared seems to boggle at him.

' _Wait… two months? You mean… this doesn't go away with practice?'_ Jared sounded so horrified and indignant that Paul couldn't help but snort.

' _Yeah, no... Say goodbye to your privacy, buddy. From now on everything that happens to you is broadcasted to the entire pack the second you shift.'_

While Paul was somewhat accustomed to the fact that, this was his fucking life now, Jared looked like he didn't know if he should run screaming or not.

' _Does that mean I am going to see all those girls you… oh yuck, now you're thinking about them, argh! Stop it, stop it! Holy fuck how old was that nurse man? Wait no, I don't want to know… arrgh—'_

The line between them went dead as Jared shifted and took off into the dark of the forest with a disgusted yelp.

"You are fucking nasty, Lahote!"

Paul let out a wolf-y gauffer as the other fled, but quickly sobered at the sounds of Bella's moans of distress. He found out, after shifting and flicking himself stealthily up the tree outside of her room, that it was due to nightmares. She lay in bed tossing and turning, a sheen of fine sweat coating her pale limbs as she thrashed.

Paul barely had time to sling in through the open window and shove himself into the Swan's girls closest, yet again, before Charlie burst into the room and swept the weeping girl into his arms. He left her arms secure to her chest as he rocked her back and forth until she woke with a weeping cry.

"I got you, Bells, I got you." He promised her, and Paul felt a twinge of jealousy bloom in his chest. Because that should have been him on the bed next to her, rocking her awake from nightmares and whispering sweet nothings into her ear. But it wasn't, and because of the Council it never would be.

The only thing he would ever be able to give his imprint, was a cruel and unfair death.

 _ **End Chapter.**_

 _A/N: Sorry this new chapter took so long, Christmas was spent in Darwin with my family and any attempt to go near my laptop resulted in firmly disappointed looks and scolding. Anyway, thank you for those that reviewed, it means a lot! And I hope you guys enjoyed the chapter, and a tiny look into Paul's backstory and his dislike for the Council._


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